Monday, April 9, 2012

Keep'Em in Stitches ' Not Getting Any Younger'

****************Old Folks Party Games *************
*** Musical recliners
*** Spin the bottle of Mylanta .
*** Simon says something incoherent .
*** Red rover , red rover , the nurse says bend over .
*** Twenty questions shouted into my good ear .
*** Pin the toupee on th bald guy .
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux , who was greeters at the local Wal-Mart , was taking a break . Boudreaux said , "Man , this old age is terrible . I ache all over ." Thibodeaux said , "Not me , man , I feel like a newborn baby ... no hair , no teeth , I'm hungrey and I think I just soiled my pants ."
A ninety-one-year-old man went to his doctor for a check-up . The doctor examined him and sent him home . The next day the doctor was driving to work and saw the man jogging down the street with a beautiful young woman and they was laughing and having a great time . The doctor pulled over to the curb and asked , "Man , what are you doing out here like this ?" The old man said , "Doc , I'm just doing what you told me . You said for me to get a hot mama and be cheerful ." The doc shook his head and replied , "No, no I didn't . I told you that you had a heart murmur and to be careful !"
******The Benifits Of Growing Older**************
*** Kidnappers ate not interested in you .
*** In a hostage situation , you are likely to be released first .
*** No one expects you to run into a burning building .
*** People call at 9p.m. and ask , "Did you wake up ?"
*** People no longer view you as a hypochondriac .
*** There's nothing left to learn the hard way .
*** Things you buy now won't wear out .
*** You can eat dinner at four o`clock .
*** You enjoy hearing about other people operations .
*** You and your teeth don't sleep together anymore .
*** You can sing along with the elevator music .
*** You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it .
*** You quit trying to hold your stomac h in , no matter who walks in the room .
*** Your investments in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off .
*** Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service .
*** Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size .
*** Laughter is a fix that will fix the fix you are in or fixin' to be in .
*** Fear knocked , Faith answered , and there was no one there .
When you are 30 years-old , you worry about what people think about you . When you are 40 years-old , you no longer care what they think . By the time you are 50 , you realize no one was thinking about you in the first place .
I can tell I am getting older because it takes longer to rest than to get tired !
I get up in the morning and dust off my wits . I pick up the paper and read the obits . If my name is not there , I know I'm not dead , so I eat a good brealfast and go back to bed .
You want to know how to prevent sagging ? Just eat until the wrinkles fill out .


  1. Hey you Sassy Witch

    I always enjoy jokes about oldies.
    These ones were good. I am starting to relate to them..hahaha!

    See ya down the road..around the bend....Genie

  2. [giggles] Not to worry ... I have a few here that will join you on that journey .

    I will be there , my broom will be parked by the big oak tree /


Come on in , set awhile and have a cup of tea and cookies , as always you are welcome .