Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Tickle Your Funny Bone

                                     Public Servants
A lady called the fire station and said that her house was on fire . The fire chief asked , "How do we get there?" She said , "Don't y'all still have those little red trucks ?" 
A man staggered out of the bar  and out to the street . He was walking with one foot on the curb and one foot on the road when a policeman saw him , tapped him on the shoulder , and said , "you'll have to come with me  ... you are drunk ," The man looked at him and said , "Thank goodness . I thought I was crippled ."
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city  because he was short on time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read : "I have circle the block ten times . If I don't park here , I'll miss my appointment . Forgive us our trespasses ."
When he returned , he found a citation from a police officer along with this note , "I've circle this block for ten years  . If I don't give you a ticket , I"ll lose my job . Lead us not into temptation ."
Two elderly people were pulled over by a policeman who demanded the husband's driver's license . Yhe asked the man , "Do you know how fast you were  going ? What's your destination ?"

The husband gave him his license and said , "We're going to Rustin , Louisiana ."

The trooper said , "I knew a woman there who was so ugly , she made a train go down a dirt road ."

The wife , who  could not hear very well , asked , "What did he say ?" The husband replied , "He  said , he thinks he knows you .
A man found a body in New Orleans , and called 911. The operator asked , "Where are you ?" The man said . I'm on Thopatulas Stret ." She said , "Can you spelled  that for me  ?"

The man thought for a moment and then said , "Can I just drag him over to Oak Street , and you can pick him up there ?"
           Words of Wisdom
You may be disappointed if you fail , but you are doomed if you don't try . Occasionally, failure is the price of improvement .

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Just Be Free

Free your mind from the dead things you wanted to do but allowed yourself to believe you weren't good enough ,smart enough , young or old enough to do.

Free your heart from the fear that someone can stop you are harm you . Free yourself from self-imposed limitations of age , color  and gender .

Free your body from the harmful things you love even when you know they are absolutely no good for you .

Freedom is the key. You must not let anything or anyone confine or define you !