A woman went to the psychiatrist and told him that her husband had a problem ... he thought he was a refrigerator , "That's not so bad ; that's really a harmless thing ," said the psychiatrist told her . "Well maybe ," said the woman , "but he sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps mme awake ."
*******************************************************************************
A lady went to a doctor for a checkup . The doctor asked , "How much do you weigh ?" She said , "115 pounds." She stepped on the scales and weighed 140 pounds . The doctor asked , "How tall are you ?" She said , "5'8" ," He measured her and she was 5'2" . He then said , "Let me check your blood pressure ." He checked and said , "My goodness , your blood pressure is very high ." She replied , "It's no wonder I came in her tall and skinny , and now I'm short and fat ."
********************************************************************************
A man said to a psychiatrist , "I have two problems . Number one , I feel like I'm a Pepsi machine ." The psychiatrist said , "No you're not a Pepsi machine ." So they argued back and forth . The psychiatrist said , " What is your number two problem ?" He said , "I'm out of order ."
********************************************************************************
************* Hello ! Welcome to the Psychiatrist Hotline ***************
*** If you are obsessive -compulsive , please press 1 repeatedly .
*** If you are co-dependent , please ask someone else to press 2 .
*** If you have multiple personalities , please press 3,4,5,and 6.
*** If you are paraniod / delusional , we know who you are and what you want , so please remain on the line until we can trace your call .
*** If you are schizophrenic , listen closely and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
*** If you are manic-depressive , it doesn't matter whick number you press ... no one will answer .
*******************************************************************************
The baby was so ugly when he was born , the doctor spanked the mama !
*******************************************************************************
True story ; Two old men were sitting in the VA clinic . One said to the other , "When I got out of the Army , they gave me a 10% disability for being crazy , and you know , last year the Lord really blessed me . They upped my disability to 50%.
*******************************************************************************
It's been proven that if you can't take a joke , you will have to take medicine .
*******************************************************************************
A merry heart does good like a medicine , so when you laugh , it does your heart good . That's why humor is good just for the health of it .
I owed you one Honey
ReplyDeleteLuv ya
What did you owe me ???
ReplyDeleteLuv ya back