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Two men was talking . One said , "I'll give a hundred dollars if someone would do my worrying for me ."
The other man said , "You're own . Where is the hundred dollars ?
The first man said , That's your first worry ."
A man in the restaurant asked the waiter how much the average tip was .
The waiter said , "$5." So the man finished his dinner and handed the waiter $5.
The waiter looked shocked and surprised , so the man asked , "What's wrong ? I thought you said the average tip was $5 dollars ." The waiter replied , "Yes it is , but you're the first one to come up wirh the average ."
A man's father had died , and his son was going thrrough his clothes and found a ticket for shoe repair from back in the 50s . Being a thrifty man , he set out to find the shop . When he got there , a little old man was at the counter . He showed him the ticket , and the little man said , "Yes , they will be ready on Tuesday .
Two cousins from Louisiana ... Boudreaux and Thibodeaux ... lost their job at a women's undergarment factory . At an interview for unemployment , Boudreaux was asked by the interviewer , "What did you do ?" He said , "Sew wlestic in women under clothes ." The enterviewer said , "You get $150 for unskilled labor .
Then came Thibodeaux's turn . When he was asked , "What did you do ?"He said , "I was a diesel fitter ."
The enterviewer said , "You get $300." Boudreaux became quite upset because his cousin received more money .He said all Thildeaux did was to hold the undergarments up and say , "Dees'll fit her ."
A stingy old lawyer who was dianosed with a terminal illness didn't believe the saying , "You can't take it with you." So he told his wife to go down to the bank , fill up a pillowcase full of money , and put it directly over his bed in the attic . When he died , he could grab the money on his way to heaven.
Well , after he died , his wife was cleaning the attic and found still there . She said , "I knew all along I should have put that money in the basement ."
A gorilla walked into a drug store and ordered a $1 milkshake and put $10 on the counter . The clerk thought to himself , 'What does a gorilla know about money ," so he gave him $1 dollar back in change . The clerk said , "You know we don't get many gorillas in here." The gorilla said , "It's no wonder at $9 a milkshake ."
A man down in the tropical islands sent a bird to his father in the States . A week later he called his dad and asked , "Dad , did you get the bird ?" His dad said , "yes , I did ." The son said , "Well , how did you like him ?" The dad said , "I really did like him ; he was delicious ." The son said , "Dad , you surely didn't eat him . He cost me $5000 , and he could speak five languages ." The dad ssaid , "Well , he should have said something ."
My wife is just impossible ; she is always asking for money . Last week she asked for $100 , earlier this week she asked for $200 , and this morning she asked for $300. The friend said , "My , that's a lot of money . What does she do with all of it ?" The husband said , I don't know ; I never give her any ."
When your outgo exceeds your inflow , your over-head becomes your down fall.
Always smile ; it increases your face value .
Very good PIC I enjoyed it very much.Yes it does look like Dad and yes Harvey would say that. HAHAHA?
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