Monday, January 30, 2012

Keep'Em in Stitches 'Senior Moments'

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house . After the meal , the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen was talking , and one said , "Last night we went out to a new restaurant , and it was really great . I would recommend it very highly." The other man said , "What's the name of the restauant ?" The first man thought and thought , and finally asked , "What's the name of the flower you give someone you love? You know ... the one that is red and has thorns." "Do you mean a Rose?" "Yes," the man said . He turned toward the kitchen and yelled , "Rose , what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night ?
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Getting old is when your toupee looks good , your false teeth works fine , your peg leg is O.K. , but you sure do miss your mind .
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We do not stop laughing because we grow old ; we grow old because we stop laughing !
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A preacher visited an elderly woman in the nursing home , and while talking with he he began to eat some pesnuts in a bowl by her bed . After a while , he noticed he had eaten nearly all of her peanuts , so he apologized and told her he would bring some more the next visit . She said , "That's quite alright , sonny , it's all I can do to suck the chocolate off them ."
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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux , who was greeters at the local Wal-Mart , were taking a break . Boudreaux said , "Man , this old age is terrible , I ache all over ." Thibodeax said , "Not me , man , I feel like a new born baby ... no hair , no teeth , I'm hungry , and I think I just soiled my pants."
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The old man that could not read or write went to a bank to cash a check . He said , "I can't write ." She told him , "Just put an 'X' on the check ." He put a big "X' on it and then a little "x" next to it . The teller said , "I understand the big 'X' but what is the little one for ? "Oh," he said . "I'm a junior ."
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A 92-year-old man got married . His friend asked , "Is she a good cook ?" He replied , "No." Then the friend asked , "Is she good looking?" He said, "No." Exasperated , the friend demanded , "Well , why in the world did you Get Married?" He replied , "She can drive at night ."
Come back , ya hear .

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