Keep'Em in Stitches ' Love & Marriage'

Two old maids were excited about getting to go on a date . They agreed that when they came down stairs for breakfast the next morning at the boarding house they would say "morning" for every time they was kissed on their date . The first one came in and said , "Good morning." The second one came in all smiles and said , :Good morning , this morning , fine morning this morning , if it is as pretty a morning as it is this morning , it will be a pretty morning in the morning .

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One man told his friend , "My girlfriend takes advantage of me ," The friend asked , "What do you mean ?" He replied , "I asked her out to dinner and she asked me could she bring a date."

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LOVE : A feeling you feel you're going to feel when you have a feeling you haven't had before .

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Husband to wife : "Honey , I can tell you've lost weight ."

Wife : "Yes , I'm finally down to what I should never been up to in the first place ."

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Two men was talking , and one said , "Every once in a while my wife puts on me one of those mudpacks ." The other man replied , "Does it work?" The first man replied , "Only for two or three days , then the mud falls off.

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A wife said : "Honey have you noticed how bald your're getting ?" The Husband replied : I'm not getting bald ; my hair is like waves of the sea ." The wife said , "Yes , but have you notice that the tide is out ?"

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The couple drove to Wal-Mart . When they arrived , their car broke down in the parking lot . The husband told his wife to go on ahead and do her shopping , and he'd fix the car .

She returned later to find a small group near the car . She observed a pair of legs sticking out from under the car and realized what was going on . Her husband was wearing shorts because it was a very hot day .

She was embarrassed for him and knew he would he also , so she stepped forward . Being modest , she tried to cover him up and tuck everything bac k in place .

Some disturbance caused her to leap to her feet , and she found herself looking right at her standing across the parking lot , watching everything . The mac hanic , however , had to have three stitches in his head .

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The best way to stay hitch is to have good horse sense , stable thinking and a bridle on your tongue .

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Marriage : An investment that pays you dividends if you pay interest .