Keep'Em in Stitches ' Blondes Have More Fun'

A farmer and his son came to town , which they hardly ever did except on special occasions . This time they went into the lobby of a fine hotel . They saw two shiny doors open . An old lady , overweight and in a wheelchair , entered the door to a little room . The door closed , and they saw the numbers above the dooway flash on and off all the way up to twwelve where the light stayed on for awhile .
After awhile , they saw the lights flash on and off from twelve back down to number one . When the doors open , a very beautiful londe walked out . Surprised , the two looked at each other , and the dad said to the son , "Go quickly and get your mama."
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One blonde bought a puzzle , stayed up all night and put it together . She thought she was extra smart because she finished it so quickly . The box had written on it : "for 3-5 years."
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A blonde bought an AM radio and had it six months before she knew she could play it at night .
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Did you hear about the blonde mortician ? A woman went to the funeral home and found that the mortician had dressed her deceased husband in a black suit . She told the blonde mortician that she wanted him buried in a blue suit , and gave her a blank check , saying that money was no object . "Buy him the best suit possible ."
She went back the next day to find her husband dressed in the blue suit ; and the blonde mortician gave the woman back her check . When questioned , the mortician said , "The suit will not cost you anything . Another woman brought her husband in dressed in a blue suit and said just to make him look nice ." The woman said , "So you just swapped the suits ?" "No," the blonde mortician said . "I just swapped their heads .
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Another blonde was on the plane in the first-class section when the flight attendent told her that her ticket was for the regular passenger section . She told him , "I'm a blonde , I'm beautiful . I'm going to New York , and I'm not moving .
The flight attendent went and told the captain that the woman would not move , so the Captian said , "I'm married to a blonde ; I'll talk to her ." He went back and whispered something in her ear . Immediately she got up and said , " Why didn't someone tell me this ?"
The flight attendent was amazed at how quickly the woman changed seats , so he asked the captain what had he told her . The Captain said that he told te blonde the first-class section was not going to New York .
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Why did the blonde collect burned out light bulbs ? So she could use them in her darkroom .
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The best sermons are lived ... not preached .
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A fanatic is someone who redoubles his efforts after he's lost his sense of vision .
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Humor is funny business . It'll get them laughing . Then you can hit them in the teeth without bustin' their lips .

FOR MY FAVORITE CRUSADER AND HER LOYAL KNIGHTS

THE EFFECTS OF HUMAN INDUCED GLOBAL WARMING ON POLAR BEARS

This map shows how much the polar bears habitat has diminished.The dark outlines show where the ice used to be

The red on this map indicates how much ice will melt in the next few decades. The sea ice on which the polar bears depend for hunting is virtually gone

Two-thirds of all polar bears are at risk of extinction by 2050

Polar Bears are the world’s largest terrestrial carnivores.Although they look innocent, Polar Bears are known as the most ferocious of all bears.They live in the arctic and spend most of their time roaming the frozen arctic waters.But what if they fall through the ice?Don’t worry, polar bears are excellent swimmers.They use their large paws to propel them through the water at speeds upwards of 10 kilometers per hour (6.2 miles) Polar bears enjoy feasting on sea creatures such as seal, walrus, beluga whale and fish to fulfill their daily requirement of 4.4-5lbs of fat per day .Polar Bears migrate throughout the year based on mating, food and housing. From season to season the polar bears pack their belongings (even that expensive fur coat) and migrate towards icier regions.A migration range can approach 350,000 sq/km .Polar Bears breed during April and May .Mating takes place in seal rich areas.Food intake and mating are directly correlated as will be explained in greater detail later. The greenhouse effect on climate alters migration, feeding, and reproduction patterns in polar bears.

The word is out!Rumor has it human activities are responsible for the increase in arctic temperature, according to the International Panel on Climate Change .The Arctic ecosystem relies on the cold climate to maintain stability.As monthly temperature averages slowly increase, summers become warmer and the ice covered waters are breaking up prematurely. Average air temperatures in the arctic have increased 5 degrees Celsius over the past 100 years .To top that off, as a result, the ice extent, or length of time before ice melts has decreased 14% since the 1970’s .Many authorities on the topic predict that by the year 2080 arctic summers will be ice free !The world of the polar bear revolves around the presence of ice.It is the ground they walk on, the basis of their homes, and the platforms they feed from.Increasing climate spells extinction for polar bears!
                                                                                                                                  
In 1999, Ian Sirling, Nicholas J. Lunn and John Iacozza conducted a study in Hudson Bay.Their results indicated that ringed seals, polar bears primary food source were becoming less available due to the shortened ice season .Bears require a high fat diet to survive.Seals are becoming a rare commodity and low-fat fish are becoming their staple .The ice is melting in early spring and forming during late autumn, which results in a shorter feeding period.Bears camouflage with the ice.They lay on their stomachs while covering their black noses to remain completely hidden.As seals unknowingly approach the bears, they are pounced upon and killed .This surprise element of attack is impossible without the presence of ice.Each week earlier the ice breaks apart, bears return ashore approximately 22lbs lighter. As the living range decreases there is a population surplus for the given amount of land.Competition for the limited food supply increases.As is common with many animals the fittest survive.Bears endure physical battle which results in wounds, but rarely death.Often, the larger and more dominant males maintain their intake leaving the remaining bears to starve.As the ice caps continue to recede, bears will be stranded ashore and ultimately intake no food.To compensate for their lack of consumption, bears are forced to use their fat stores for energy and survival (4).If this continues over and extended period of time, the final effect will be death in the form of starvation.

In order to relieve their hunger, bears scavenge new grounds to find food.Imagine opening your front door to retrieve the morning paper only to find a polar bear lounging on your steps.Human bear altercations are a growing trend .Involuntarily, the food deficit in polar bears natural setting is forcing these animals to find alternate feeding grounds.As the Polar Bears recede northward they begin to encounter food in populated villages.Despite various tactics to rid their presence including firecracker use and attack dogs, if the bear deems a community dumpster its food source, little can be done to stop its wandering.

Pack your things kids we’re going on vacation.The Polar Bears of the arctic are doing just that.The amount of ice in the polar region can be compared to the size of the United States.With that in mind imagine each year an area twice the size of New Jersey vanishes. The ice in the polar region is performing a disappearing act right before our very eyes.As the ice season shortens and its volume decreases, polar bears are changing their migration patterns. Bears tend to migrate towards ice. The ice aids the bears in hunting.An ideal range of migration for the average polar bear is 50,000 to 60,000 square kilometers .Due to human induced climate changes, migration ranges are increasing upwards to 350,000 square kilometers. Experts indicate that as the southern ice formations melt, bears will slowly progress northward .

In another scenario, ice recession has limited migration.The bears are forced to “stay home.”Often, leads (cracks between ice panels) are melting and drifting farther apart.Leads that used to be close in proximity spread so far apart that the bears become stranded .The bears migration capabilities are then limited.The end result is an overpopulation for a given area causing increased feeding competition.

So you see, migration, feeding and reproduction are all related and affect one another.Bears are being forced to migrate from their prime feeding areas; as a result they are malnourished and weigh less.Lower weights in polar bears are directly correlated with a decrease in reproduction. Also the shortened feeding results in cubs with smaller birth weights and higher mortality rates.

In fact, recently there are 10% fewer cubs than there were 20 years ago!If this trend continues polar bears could become extinct.In Hudson Bay, scientists found the main cause of newborn deaths to be lack of food.A two week decline in the ice free season results in an 8% weight loss for mothers which inhibits their ability to lactate and feed their newborns .Cubs follow their mothers for approximately two and a half years .The mother has difficulty supporting her own nutritional needs, let alone a den of cubs as well.In another fatal situation, glacial pieces are warming and cracking into multiple pieces.These subdivisions unrecognizable drift farther apart.Newborn cubs that are unprepared for long distance swims are in danger of drowning .

As we have learned, the climate changes are correlated with human activities which result in greenhouse emissions.Although no one person can turn the effect around single handedly, every effort counts.Here are ten things you can do at your household to help control the greenhouse effect.

• Take shorter showers and use a water efficient shower head.
• Turn off your computer screen if you are away longer than 10 minutes.
• Turn off you televisions!
• Wash your clothes with cold water and air dry ( if possible) as opposed to electrical drying.
• Use compact fluorescent lights
• Plant you own vegetable gardens.
• Wear a sweater when you house is cold instead of turning on the heater
• Use solar or high efficiency gas
• Insulate your home well
• Use a lid when cooking food instead of cooking with the lid off.

Monkey matinee

Hey Monkeys these movies are over an hour long so maybe you should wait until after supper
and just pick one

Keep'Em in Stitches ' The Good Ole Days'

**********************Things ain't what they use to be ******************

***********************************Remember ****************************

*** Sittin' on the porch .

*** Simon says, "Kick the can."

*** Red light , green light .

*** Penny candy from the corner store .

*** Hopscotch , butterscotch and skates with keys .

*** Jacks , kickball and dodge ball .

*** Mother , may I ?

*** Hula hoops .

*** Coke bottles with the names of cities on the bottom .

*** Catching lightning bugs in a jar .

*** Playing slingshot .

*** Laughing so hard your stomach hurts .

*** When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up .

*** When nobody owned a purebred dog .

*** When a quarter was a decent allowance and another quarter was a huge bonus.

*** When you got your windshield cleaned , oil checked and gas pumped .

*** When they threatened to keep kids back a gradwe if they failed ... and did !

*** When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home .

*** When a '57 Chevy was everyone's dream car to cruise the strip , peel out , lay rubber , or watch submarine races .

*** When people went steady and girls wore a class ring with an inch of dental floss coated with pastel frosted nail polish so that it would fit her finger .

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*** Life is like a roll of toliet paper ... the closer it gets to the end ... the faster it goes .

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*** A day of worry burns more energy that a week's work .

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*** Life is like an ice cream cone . You get it licked on one side , it runs down the other side .

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*** If we will learn to laugh at ourselves , we will find something to make us happy .

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*** Don't suppress laughter ; it will go down inside and spread out your hips .

California-Style Barbeque Chicken Pizza

****************** ****Prep Time :15 minutes **********Total Time :40 minutes

SPREAD pizza crust with barbecue sauce; top with chicken mixture and cheese. Place crust directly on middle oven rack.

Bake 15 to 18 min. or until cheese is melted.

　What You Need

3/4 lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into thin strips

1 green pepper, cut into thin strips

1/4 cup thin red onion slices

1 ready-to-use baked pizza crust (12 inch)

1/3 cup BULL'S-EYE Original Barbecue Sauce

1-1/2 cups KRAFT Shredded Triple Cheddar Cheese with a TOUCH OF PHILADELPHIA

Make It

HEAT

oven to 400°F.

Cook and stir chicken and vegetables in large skillet sprayed with cooking spray on medium-high heat

Kitchens Tips

For a quick alternative to the cooked fresh chicken, use chopped chicken from a rotisserie chicken purchased at your local supermarket. Add to pizza along with the cooked vegetables and cheese before baking as directed.

VELVEETA Barbecue Chicken Pizza

Prepare as directed, substituting 1 pkg. (8 oz.) VELVEETA Mild Cheddar Flavor Shredded Pasteurized Process Cheddar Cheese Food for the shredded triple Cheddar cheese.

Substitute

Prepare using KRAFT Mexican Style Finely Shredded Cheddar Jack Cheese .

Polar Bear Cubs : 'NEWS'....By Jenny

This article is an oral composition given by Jenny, an eight year old and my favorite crusader for the endangered polar bear. She is also very aware of the role climate change plays in the survival of the bears and other endangered species. Each month Jenny gives a composition accompanied by images and videos to her class. She calls her group Polar Cubs and is assisted in her efforts by her sister Sha and her brothers Jonny and Man.  Often parents sit in to listen also. She is making an impact on her community.
Are you as aware or as passionate as this little girl about endangered species and about saving our planet?  Very well done Jenny. I am so proud to be your Aunt Jeannie.

Good afternoon Polar Cubs and all grownup visitors .

First I want to thank my Aunt Jeannie  in Canada she send mama a lot of stuff about the polar bears , now she send me some to share with you , Aunt Jeannie  writes Nanook letters for him  daddy say Nanook can not write because he has paws .Now let get down to the business at hand .We will watch some videos and a short movie after I share with you some things .Ontario has the largest population of polar bears that is where my Aunt Jeannie  live , there is about 20,000 bears left  so you see why we need to get busy .Climate change is the greatest threat  to polar bears , because the sea ice is melting very fast and the polar bears depend on the ice for hunting .Polar bears needs 5 pounds of blubber a day to survive , their favorite thing to eat is seals  they hunt on the sea from November to the summer months  in Ontario where Aunt Jeannie live. Aunt Jeannie told mama  some very mean people kill the baby seals for their skins and leave them there . Why do they do that , meanness , mama said , I giggle because mama was so mad she said everything on earth had a reason to be here , we had no reason to kill more than we need to eat .

Summer , polar bears eat kelp, grasses and berries , they slow down their metabolism and live on their fat stores they remain inactive 80% of time to save energy like people do at home  turn the lights off when not in use .

Mating occurs in April and May , I asked daddy what was mating  and he said it was when the daddy polar bear put the baby polar bear in the mama bear oven she bakes it and when the baby is done the mama bear pops the baby bear out, mama look at him and roll her eyes and said Gil please can you do better than that  daddy said baby I do not know what the mama bear do , I am a guy bear. I asked mama and she said  just go with what your daddy said , my daddy was laughing so hard , daddy is so funny . 

Female polar bears delay the implantation of the fetus until she gains enough weight then she enters a maternity den in October . Cubs are born after 2 months . Polar bears mostly have twins at birth a cub weighs about 1 pound   their eyes is closed at birth  they have a fine layer of hair on their bodies . Cubs feed on their mother milk  the mother weans the cubs at 1 year of age they leave the den in February  the cubs stay with their mama until they are 2 years old  and learn how to survive in the harsh artic .

One more thing before we watch the videos and movie , junior cubs  tell your parents and grandparents, they can get books and videos and some movies from the library. You can picked a species of your own cause  we can join together mama have a meeting each Friday  you can pick up a paper on your way out , take it home give it to your parents and tell them we need their help because we are only kids and need the grownups help  so we will have a a change to try and fix it .My poppa says everything is connected in one way or another . If there is any questions after the meeting   please ask  my poppa knows everything .

Now I want to thank Aunt Jeannie 

Jenny your Favorite Crusader ,  Kisses & Hugs

Keep'Em in Stitches 'Growing Old'

Growing old might not be fun , but it sure can be funny !

"Mature" is great for cheeses and wines , but sometimes it's good to let the kid inside us have some fun .

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Debbie and Phil were sitting in the living room watching the tube when he said to her , "Just so you know , I never want to live in a vegetable state , dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle . If that ever happens , just pull the plug ."

She got up , unplugged the TV , and threw his beer out the window .

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It hurts when you first notice that it had been a while since you was asked for I.D. to purchase alcohol .

Now it hurts because you realize it has been a while since anyone has asked you to show your I.D. to receive the Senior Special Discount .

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A boy goes to spend the night with his grandparents . His grandfather goes to bed early , but his grandmother wants him to stay up and watch a movie with her .

She sends the boy upstairs to put on his pajamas . When the boy comes down , his eyes are as big as saucers .

"I looked in your bedroom on the way down , and now I know why grandpa was so happy to go to sleep early . Boy , the Tooth Fairy is going to be surprise tonight whan she sees what he left her on the nightstand !"

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"Why didn't someone tell me that when you get older , you go through the terrible twos again ? Now I have two chins , two spare tires and two really big ears .

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Four retired guys are walking down a street in Chicago when they turn a corner and see a sign that says , "old Timers' Bar . ALL DRINKS : Ten Cents !"

They looked at eack other , and then went in . The bartender says , "What'll it be gentlemen ?"

It seems to be a fully stocked bar , so the four men each asked for a martini . In short order , the bartender serves up four iced martinis and says , "That'll be ten cents each , please ."

They can't believe their good luck, plucking down four dimes .

Finally , one of the men can't stand it any longer and asks the bartender , "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime each ?"

"Well I always wanted to own a bar . Last year I hit the lottery for $25 million and opened this place . Every drink costs a dime ... wine , liquor , beer , all the same ."

"WOW!! That's something ," says one of the men . The four of them can't help notice three old guys at the end of the bar who don't have drinks and aren't ordering anything .

"What's with them ?"

The bartender says , "Oh , they're seniors up from florida . They are still waiting for half-off happy hour .

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An elderly gentleman is attending a singles mixer at a senior center , and he approaches a woman to speak to her .

At a loss for words , he falls back on what seems to be one of his old standbys : "So tell me , do I come here often ?"

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***********What was that question again ?

An extemerly elderly couple had been dating for over six years . The gentleman finally decided to ask his girlfriend to marry him .

She immediately accepted his proposal .

He went home happy . The next morning , however , he couldn't remember not only her answer , but also whether or not he had actually asked her , Very awkwaed indeed !

He drank almost an entire pot of coffee trying to remember , but it was no use , he would have to call her and ask her outright , as embarassing as it would be .

"Oh , I am glad you called ," she exclaimed . "Iremembered saying 'yes' to someone about something , but I couldn't remember to whom or about what !"

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****************The Sum of Her Parts

Helen went in for a doctor's appointment , and was told she should probably have her knee replaced . The news sent her into a tizzy .

"What do you mean , have my knee replaced ? I've already had both hips repkaced , one knee replace , and a heart valve repkaced . Even my teeth have been replaced . Pretty soon , there will be nothing left of me !

"Anything else you want to replace , doctor , or will this do it ?"

As she got upset , Helen's face got more and more red , and she began to sweat .

"Well, while we're on the subject , we might think about replacing some of those hormones ...."

Dinosaurs ...Kind of Glad They're not Around Any more

Polar Bear Love

Action Movies For Jonny

F-18 Jet Crash Hero

***********Navy still hasn't paid for blowing up my apartment .

The U.S. Navy has not forked over a single cent to one of the men whose apartment was obliterated in last week's F-18 crash ... so says the man himself ... who's now considering legal action.


TMZ spoke with Colby Smith -- who rushed out of his apartment and helped save one of the pilots from the wreckage following Friday's crash in Virginia.


Colby tells us, the Navy agreed to pay for a hotel room for him and his family after the disaster -- but this morning, the hotel kicked 'em out ... because the Navy hadn't paid.


Colby says his fam had to shell out $400 for the room ... and will be changing hotels tonight. So far, we're told the Navy still hasn't sent a check.


According to Colby, the Navy also agreed to cover all damages stemming from the accident -- but a government rep said it could take up to 2 years before that payment is processed.


Colby tells us a 2 year wait is unacceptable ... and has already met with a lawyer in the hopes of expediting the process.


As for daily expenses -- we're told the Navy is paying out $89 per person per day for lodging, $30 per day for food, and $200 TOTAL for clothing.


Calls to the Navy were not returned.
http://tmz.com

Keep'Em in Stitches ' Not Getting Any Younger'

****************Old Folks Party Games *************

*** Musical recliners

*** Spin the bottle of Mylanta .

*** Simon says something incoherent .

*** Red rover , red rover , the nurse says bend over .

*** Twenty questions shouted into my good ear .

*** Pin the toupee on th bald guy .

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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux , who was greeters at the local Wal-Mart , was taking a break . Boudreaux said , "Man , this old age is terrible . I ache all over ." Thibodeaux said , "Not me , man , I feel like a newborn baby ... no hair , no teeth , I'm hungrey and I think I just soiled my pants ."

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A ninety-one-year-old man went to his doctor for a check-up . The doctor examined him and sent him home . The next day the doctor was driving to work and saw the man jogging down the street with a beautiful young woman and they was laughing and having a great time . The doctor pulled over to the curb and asked , "Man , what are you doing out here like this ?" The old man said , "Doc , I'm just doing what you told me . You said for me to get a hot mama and be cheerful ." The doc shook his head and replied , "No, no I didn't . I told you that you had a heart murmur and to be careful !"

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******The Benifits Of Growing Older**************

*** Kidnappers ate not interested in you .

*** In a hostage situation , you are likely to be released first .

*** No one expects you to run into a burning building .

*** People call at 9p.m. and ask , "Did you wake up ?"

*** People no longer view you as a hypochondriac .

*** There's nothing left to learn the hard way .

*** Things you buy now won't wear out .

*** You can eat dinner at four o`clock .

*** You enjoy hearing about other people operations .

*** You and your teeth don't sleep together anymore .

*** You can sing along with the elevator music .

*** You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it .

*** You quit trying to hold your stomac h in , no matter who walks in the room .

*** Your investments in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off .

*** Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service .

*** Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size .

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*** Laughter is a fix that will fix the fix you are in or fixin' to be in .

*** Fear knocked , Faith answered , and there was no one there .

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When you are 30 years-old , you worry about what people think about you . When you are 40 years-old , you no longer care what they think . By the time you are 50 , you realize no one was thinking about you in the first place .

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I can tell I am getting older because it takes longer to rest than to get tired !

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I get up in the morning and dust off my wits . I pick up the paper and read the obits . If my name is not there , I know I'm not dead , so I eat a good brealfast and go back to bed .

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You want to know how to prevent sagging ? Just eat until the wrinkles fill out .

Monkey Matinee

I MISSED OUR CHAT DATE

I FEEL BAD ABOUT KEEPING YOU WAITING

YOU GET ONE FREE KICK  AT MY BUTT

The Lady With A Ermine

WARSAW, Poland — Bark beetles and old age have damaged Leonardo da Vinci's 15th-century painting "Lady with an Ermine," but the masterpiece is still holding up well, according to a conservationist at the Polish museum where it is displayed.

Recent tests show the chestnut board on which Leonardo painted his masterpiece has weakened after being nibbled at by beetles over the centuries, and the painting has also suffered from a dense network of cracks, said Janusz Czop, the chief conservationist at the National Museum in Krakow.

One of only four existing female portraits by Leonardo, the oil painting shows a young woman in three-quarter profile wearing a sumptuous low-cut red and blue dress as she holds a white ermine, an animal also known as a stoat. Historians believe the subject was Cecilia Gallerani, the mistress of the Duke of Milan, Ludovico Sforza, when she was 16 or 17. Leonardo painted it around the year 1490.

"The painting is 500 years old and has been subject to all the processes of aging," including journeying between Poland, France and Germany through the wars and uprisings of the 19th and 20th centuries, Czop said Monday.

"Still, all things considered, it is in very good condition, thanks to the technology that da Vinci used," Czop said, noting the master painted on durable wood.

More state-of-the art and noninvasive tests – such as computer tomography – are to be performed to help experts decide what kind of maintenance the masterpiece requires, Czop said. For the past 100 years the painting has belonged to the Czartoryskis, an aristocratic Polish family.

The painting was recently exhibited in the Spanish, German and British capitals but Czop said those trips did not hurt it. Nonetheless, authorities have decided not to let it leave the museum again for at least 10 years.

http: Huffington Post Arts

Yutyrannus Hauli : Was the Largest Feathered Dinosaur Ever

A Yutyrannus Hauli Skull

A newly discovered titanic tyrannosaur is the biggest feathered dinosaur yet, reaching up to 30 feet (9 meters) long and weighing more than 3,000 pounds.

While smaller than Tyrannosaurus rex, the new species, named Yutyrannus huali — meaning "beautiful feathered tyrant" — is still 40 times the weight of the largest feathered dinosaur known previously, Beipiaosaurus, which was described in 1999.

"Yutyrannus dramatically increases the size range of dinosaurs for which we have definite evidence of feathers," study researcher Xing Xu of the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Beijing said in a statement. "It’s possible that feathers were much more widespread, at least among the meat-eating dinosaurs , than most scientists would have guessed even a few years ago."

The researchers found three well-preserved fossils of the species in a dig in Liaoning Province, in northeastern China, the same place Xu and his colleagues discovered Beipiaosaurus. [ The Worlds Biggest Beasts]

Tyrant lizards

The groups of dinosaurs known as the Tyrannosauroidea, which gave rise to the majestic Tyrannosaurus rex, lived for more than 100 million years through the middle Jurassic (about 180 million years ago) until the K-T extinction event at the end of the Cretaceous about 65 million years ago.

Top of Form 1

Bottom of Form 1

From known fossils, researchers think this group started out as small, feathered dinosaurs and grew into large, scaly tyrant lizards only later in the Cretaceous. Yutyrannus huali is the first example of this type of large, T. rex-type dinosaur in the early Cretaceous.

The find indicates that tyrannosaurus-type dinosaurs played a major role as large predators earlier than thought.

Feathered fury

The researchers discovered fossils of the dinosaur's feathers and were able to clearly make out that the large dinosaur was one shaggy predator .

"The feathers of Yutyrannus were simple filaments," Xu said. "They were more like the fuzzy down of a modern baby chick than the stiff plumes of an adult bird." The hairlike feather filaments were about 6 inches (15 centimeters) long and probably covered the majority of the animal's body.

The feathers weren't used for flight, but to keep the giant lizard warm, an interesting adaption in dinosaurs, a group typically thought of as "cold-blooded," Xu said.

"The idea that primitive feathers could have been for insulation rather than flight has been around for a long time," study researcher Corwin Sullivan, a paleontologist at the Chinese Academy of Sciences, said in a statement. "However, large-bodied animals typically can retain heat quite easily, and actually have more of a potential problem with overheating. That makes Yutyrannus, which is large and downright shaggy, a bit of a surprise."

The explanation may be climate-related, the researchers say. While the Cretaceous Period was generally very warm, Yutyrannus lived during the middle part of the Early Cretaceous, when temperatures are thought to have been somewhat cooler than the Late Cretaceous , when T. rex lived.

The study was published today (April 4) in the journal Nature .

Jennifer Welsh : LiveScience Staff Writer

Monkey Movies

Keep'Em in Stitches ' Even Stranger Folk'

There was a crazy man who came knocking at a door at 3: a.m. , waking a couple up . The man of the house went and opened the door . "The man standing on the outside said , "I need a push."

The sleepy man quickly shut the door in his facee abd went back to bed . His wife said , "Honey do you remember the time we needed a push and someone came to help us ?"

Feeling badly , the man got back up and went to the door , but he couldn't see the crazy guy . So he called out , "Where are you ? Are you out here ?" And a man's voice came from a swing out in the yard saying , "I need a push ."

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Two hippies woke up in the hosiptal . One looked at the other and said , "Man , didn't you see that Wall?" The other said , "I saw the wall , but I didn't know I was driving ."

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So far today I've done all right . I haven't gossiped , I haven't lost my temper , I haven't been greedy , grumpy , nasty , selfish or over indulgent . I'm really glad about all that . But in a few mintues , God , I'm going to get out of bed . From then on , I'm probably going to need a lot more help .

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A fellow came up to a man on the street and asked if he wanted to be a Jehov an Witness . The man said , "I didn't even see the accident ."

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A funeral procession was carrying a casket to the grave site for a funeral . When they went around a corner the bac k door came open , the casket came out , slid across the street and through the door of a pharmacy . The lid flew open , and the man sat up and said , "You got something to stop this Coffin ?"

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A woman came up to the checkout counter and asked if she could buy half a head of cabbage because she couldn't afford a whole head . The checkout boy said , "I don't know , I'll go ask the manager ."

Without his knowledge , the woman followed him . He told the manager , "There some idiot up there who wants to buy half a head of cabbage ." Then he noticed the woman was right behind him and said , "And this nice lady wants to buy the other half ."

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A slightly large lady went into a bank in northern Mississippi . At the front was a newfangled scale with a robotic voice that spoke out how much you weigh . This lady got in line behind a man and woman to try it out . When the man got on the scale it said , "One hundred ninety-two pounds ." Next the woman got on and it said , "One hundred twenty-four pounds ," When the large lady stepped on the scale , a voice boomed out , "One at a time please ."

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A new maid came for the first time to clean house . The housewife said , "I can write my name in the dust on the piano ." The maid said , "oh my , it must be wonderful to have an education ."

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The ship captain had worked his way up through the ranks and became successful . One of his young sailors decided to watch him closely and follow him around to learn how he became successful .

After several months of watching , he determined that the captain went to his cabin every morning , got a piece of paper out , read it , and ten went on with his day . One morning the young sailor decided to look and see what was on the paper . It read , "Port is on the left , Starboard on the right ."

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A woman got on the plane with a baby . There was a parrot on the plane that said , "That is the ugliest baby I have ever seen ." The woman was furious .

She was so mad she turned red in the face and grumbled as she sat down next to a man . The man could see she was mad about something because she kept saying that she was going to see the captain .

After awhile , the man said to her , "You go ahead and talk to the captain . I'll hpld your monkey for you ."

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A fanatic is someone who redoubles his effort after he's lost his sense of vision .

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Humor is funny business . It'll get them laughing . Then you can hit them in the teeth without bustin' their lip .